The Two-Second Review: Movie Times in New Lenox, Orland and Joliet, Aug. 5 - 11

Some times vary or change by date, so check with the theater in advance. Clicking on a movie's name will take you to its website, made by people who actually have seen it.

NEW - Angels and Airwaves Presents LOVE
The world premier of this movie will be broadcast live from Boston, played simultaneously in theaters around the nation and close with a live streaming concert by Angels & Airwaves. Not bad for a band I've never heard of.
Cinemark Louis Joliet Mall: 7 p.m. Aug. 10 only Showplace New Lenox 14: 7 p.m. Aug. 10 only

Bad Teacher
Cameron Diaz takes her years of experience as a bad actress and relates it to another profession.
Orland Park Cinema: 9:45 p.m.

Bridesmaids
A seriously funny movie about a woman who can't get her life together as her best friend does. Plus, the dude from Mad Men is really awesome in it.
Cinemark Movies 10: 12:40, 3:40, 7 and 9:50 p.m.

Captain America: First Avenger
A 4F reject gets enhanced into the blonde-haired, blue-eyed "superhuman ideal" to fight Nazis.
Showplace New Lenox 14: 10:15 a.m., 1:10, 4:05, 7 and 9:55 p.m. In 3D: 9:15 p.m. Orland Park Cinema: 12, 2:50, 6 and 8:50 p.m. In 3D: 1, 4, 7 and 10 p.m. Cinemark Louis Joliet Mall: 11:20 a.m., 5 and 10:40 p.m. In 3D: 12:05 and 9:55 a.m., 12:45, 3:35, 6:25 and 9:15 p.m.

Cars 2
Do you need a review? If you don't have kids, you're going to rent it. If you do have kids, you've already seen it in the theater 14 times.
Orland Park Cinema: 1:10 and 3:40 p.m.

NEW - The Change-Up
Jason Bateman and Ryan Reynolds switch plots with Freaky Friday.
Showplace New Lenox 14: 9:50 a.m., 12:20, 2:50, 5:20, 7:50 and 10:20 p.m. Cinemark Louis Joliet Mall: 10:20 a.m., 1:10, 4:20, 7:30, 10:10 and 11:35 p.m. Orland Park Cinema: 1:50, 4:45, 7:30 and 10:10 p.m.

Cowboys & Aliens
How Arizona sees the world.
Showplace New Lenox 14: 10 and 11 a.m., 12:45, 1:45, 3:30, 4:30, 6:15, 7:15, 9 and 10 p.m. Orland Park Cinema: 12:10, 1, 3, 4, 6, 7, 8:50 and 9:50 p.m. Cinemark Louis Joliet Mall: 12:05, 10 and 11:25 a.m, 12:50, 2:15, 3:40, 5:05, 6:30, 7:55, 9:20 and 10:45 p.m.

Crazy, Stupid, Love
Steve Carrell, Julianne Moore, Ryan Gosling and ... you know what? That cast is pretty much all I need to know.
Showplace New Lenox 14: 10:40 a.m., 1:25, 5, 8 and 10:45 p.m. Orland Park Cinema: 12:50, 3:50, 7:10 and 10 p.m. Cinemark Louis Joliet Mall: 12:15 and 10:10 a.m., 12:55, 4:10, 7:05 and 10:30 p.m.

NEW - DCI 2011: Big, Loud & Live 8
The best drum corps in the world compete in this live broadcast of the 2011 World Championship Prelims from Indianapolis.
Orland Park Cinema: 5:30 p.m. Aug. 11 only Cinemark Louis Joliet Mall: 5:30 p.m. Aug. 11 only Showplace New Lenox 14: 5:30 p.m. Aug. 11 only

NEW (SECOND RUN) - Fast Five
Both Vin Diesel and The Rock are in this movie, disproving my whole Clark Kent/Superman theory.
Cinemark Movies 10: 12:35, 3:30, 6:50 and 9:40 p.m.

Friends With Benefits
A former That 70s Show star starts a sex-only relationship that could turn into more. Part two of an unintentional series.
Showplace New Lenox 14:11:40 a.m., 2:25, 5:10, 7:55 and 10:30 p.m. Orland Park Cinema: 1:50, 4:20, 6:50 and 9:30 p.m. Cinemark Louis Joliet Mall: 10:25 a.m., 1:15, 4:25, 7:40 and 10:15 p.m.

The Hangover II
This time, it's even more hangovery. And they're in Thailand.
Cinemark Movies 10: 2:35, 5:10, 7:30 and 9:55 p.m.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2
SPOILER ALERT: Daniel Radcliffe's career dies at the end.
Showplace New Lenox 14: 9:45 a.m., 12:50, 3:55, 7 and 10:05 p.m. In 3D: 10:30 a.m., 1:35, 4:40, 7:45 and 10:50 p.m. Orland Park Cinema: 1:15, 4:15, 7:15 and 10:15 p.m. In 3D: 12:30, 3:30, 6:20 and 9:20 p.m. Cinemark Louis Joliet Mall: 10:05 a.m, 4 and 10:05 p.m. In 3D: 1 and 7:10 p.m.

NEW - The Help
I looked at the site and saw "extraordinary women," "unlikely friendship" and the South in the 1960s. I picture a lot of scenes of people crying and a lot of Golden Globe wins.
Showplace New Lenox 14: 12:45, 4, 7:15 and 10:30 p.m. starting Aug. 10 Orland Park Cinema: 12, 3:15, 6:30 and 9:45 p.m. starting Aug. 10 Cinemark Louis Joliet Mall: 12:30, 3:45, 7 and 10:15 p.m. starting Aug. 10

Horrible Bosses
That guy from the thing, the other guy who's been in some stuff and Jason Bateman conspire to kill their bosses.
Showplace New Lenox 14: 10:05 am., 12:35, 3:05, 5:35, 8:05 and 10:35 p.m. Orland Park Cinema: 11:50 a.m., 2:20, 4:40, 7 and 9:30 p.m. Cinemark Louis Joliet Mall: 2:10 and 7:50 p.m.

NEW (SECOND RUN) - Insidious
You know you're having a bad run when your kid's in a coma and then bad things start to happen. In this case, it's demons.
Cinemark Movies 10: 2:30, 5, 7:20 and 9:45 p.m.

Judy Moody and the Not Bummer Summer
Speaking of demons who possess children.
Cinemark Movies 10: 12:25 p.m.

NEW (SECOND RUN) - Kung Fu Panda
You just won't be able to follow the plot of KFP2 without this.
Cinemark Movies 10: 10 a.m. Aug. 9 only

Kung Fu Panda II
Jack Black plays a version of himself with fewer drug references. Because it's a kid movie, y'know?
Cinemark Movies 10: 1:05, 3:15, 5:25, 7:35 and 9:45 p.m. In 3D: 12, 2:10, 4:20, 6:30 and 8:40 p.m. Orland Park Cinema: 10 a.m. Aug. 9, 10, 11

Larry Crowne
Tom Hanks stars in the Tom Hanks role in this story of a Tom Hanks Tom Hanksing through the bad economy by going back to school. Julia Roberts plays the Julia Roberts.
Showplace New Lenox 14: 4:05 and 7 p.m. starting Aug. 9

NEW (SECOND RUN) - Monte Carlo
CONGRATULATIONS, MONTE CARLO! YOU ARE THE ONE-MILLIONTH PRINCE AND THE PAUPER RIP-OFF! YOU WIN!
Cinemark Movies 10: 11:55 a.m., 2:25, 4:55, 7:25 and 10 p.m.

NEW (SECOND RUN) - Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides
The Pirates crew searches for the fountain of youth, because with immortality but not youth you would turn into some hideous leathery monster. Incidentally, Keith Richards is also in this movie.
Cinemark Movies 10: 1:50, 4:50 and 7:50 p.m. In 3D: 12:20, 3:20, 6:20 and 9:20 p.m.

Rio
An eye-opening documentary about life in the cartel-controlled favelas (slums) of ... naah, just kidding. Some CGI bird goes to Carnival.
Cinemark Movies 10: 12:10 p.m.

NEW - Rise of the Planet of the Apes
Wait a minute. Statue of Liberty? IT WAS EARTH ALL ALONG! DAMN YOU, JAMES FRANCO!
Showplace New Lenox 14: 10:20 and 11:05 a.m., 1:05, 1:50, 3:50, 4:35, 6:35, 7:20, 9:20 and 10:10 p.m. Cinemark Louis Joliet Mall: 12:15, 10:14, 11:05, 11:55 a.m., 12:45, 1:35, 2:25, 3:15, 4:05, 4:55, 5:45, 6:35, 7:25, 8:15, 9:05, 9:55 and 10:45 p.m.

The Smurfs
A little more of my childhood dies every day.
Showplace New Lenox 14: 10:10 a.m., 12:40, 3:10, 5:40, 8:10 and 10:50 p.m. In 3D: 11:10 a.m., 1:40, 4:15 and 6:45 p.m. Orland Park Cinema: 12:40, 3:30, 6:20 and 8:50 p.m. In 3D: 11:45 a.m., 2:15, 4:50, 7:25 and 10 p.m. Cinemark Louis Joliet Mall: 11:15 a.m., 12:30, 1:45, 4:15, 5:30, 6:45 and 9:50 p.m. In 3D: 10 a.m., 3 and 8 p.m.

Transformers: Dark of the Moon
Viewings available in 2D and 3D. Characters only available in 1D.
Showplace New Lenox 14: 5:15 and 8:45 p.m. Orland Park Cinema: 6:10 and 9:30 p.m. Cinemark Louis Joliet Mall: In 3D: 12, 3:30, 7, 10:25 and 11:55 p.m.

X-Men: First Class
A prequel to the superhuman saga, telling the tale of an idealistic young mutant's battle with male pattern baldness.
Cinemark Movies 10: 12:50, 3:45, 6:45 and 9:35 p.m.

The Zookeeper
The guy from King of Queens does some stuff. Talking animals are involved.
Showplace New Lenox 14: 11:55 a.m., 2:30 p.m. Orland Park Cinema: 11:45 a.m., 2:10, 4:45 and 7:15 p.m. Cinemark Louis Joliet Mall: 9:25 p.m.