The Two-Second Review: What's New in New Lenox, Orland and Country Club Hills, Oct. 14-20

Clicking on a movie's name will take you to its official website, made by people who actually have seen the movie. The theater names will show you the times a movie is playing. If 3D isn't specified, the movie is 2D.

The Big Year
Fun fact: Steve Martin is a big art collector and is rumored to take on lousy but big-budget roles when he wants to buy a piece. From the looks of this birdwatching comedy where the trailers keep showing the same Jack Black gay joke ("You bought me drinks and got what you wanted"), Martin's saving up to buy the Louvre. Rated PG. Time unavailable.
Playing at: Showplace New Lenox 14, Orland Park Cinema, Country Club Hills 16

Courageous
A religious love letter to the nation's police officers by Christian film company Shorewood Pictures, a ministry of the Shorewood Baptist megachurch in Georgia. Rated PG-13. 130 minutes.
Playing at: Showplace New Lenox 14, Orland Park Cinema,

Footloose
Congratulations, Footloose remake! You're the winner of this week's "Guys, Your Girlfriends Are Going to Make You Watch This So Just Get Used to The Notion Now" award! Rated PG-13. 113 minutes.
Playing at: Showplace New Lenox 14, Orland Park Cinema, Country Club Hills 16

Met - Anna Bolena - Live
The Metropolitan Opera opens the season with the story of the ill-fated queen driven insane by her unfaithful king. I'm picturing pillbox hats and Greek shipping magnates. (Too soon?) Playing Saturday, Oct. 15 only. Not rated. 260 minutes.
Playing at: Orland Park Cinema (Saturday, Oct. 15 only)

Munger Road
This local independent horror film based on urban legends in St. Charles got three stars from Ebert, plus was made on a shoestring budget by a local suburban man. . Rated PG-13. 85 minutes.
Playing at: Country Club Hills 16

NT Live: One Man, Two Guvnors
A screening of the British National Theatre's production of the comedy where "Fired from his skiffle band, Francis Henshall becomes minder to Roscoe Crabbe, a small time East End hood, now in Brighton to collect £6,000 from his fiancee’s dad." I don't understand what that means either. Speak English, British people! Playing Thursday, Oct. 20 only. Not rated. 180 minutes
Playing at: Orland Park Cinema (Thursday, Oct. 20 only)

Rolling Stones Live In Texas 1978
See this Rolling Stones concert from the Some Girls tour filmed live in Fort Worth, Texas on July 18, 1978. Playing Tuesday, Oct. 18 only. Not rated. 90 minutes.
Playing at: Orland Park Cinema (Tuesday, Oct. 18 only)

The Thing
I'm not the first person to say it, but why keep remaking classics, like this seminal modern horror film about a shape-changing monster at an Antarctic research station? Remake bad films and make them good. Howard the Duck 2012, anyone? Rated R. 103 minutes.
Playing at: Showplace New Lenox 14, Orland Park Cinema, Country Club Hills 16